How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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