Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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