I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
