i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
