if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
