i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
