And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
