even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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