porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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