Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
