Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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