So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
nutella sex= disaster
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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