So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
