Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
