He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
