I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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