she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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