My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
