just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
