Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
