playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
