You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think my moral compass just broke
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
