My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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