uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
