Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
