haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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