I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
