Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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