the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he had hair everywhere except his balls
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
