I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
