Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
