Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
