I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
