This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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