he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
