butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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