Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
