Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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