ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
