she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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