Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
