u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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