in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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