do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
a search helicopter?!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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