And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
