Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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