I just saw a hot homeless man
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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