after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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