You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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