listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
