Quick, to the slutcave!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
