Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
